I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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