just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
