This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
