oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
