do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
