Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
