I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
