new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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