perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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