I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
