i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
