I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
