come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
