If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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