An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
