I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
