I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
