he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
