Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
