Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
