And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
