i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
