can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
