garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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