Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
