you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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