Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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