chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
