We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
