the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
