I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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