So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
