This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Your penis caused this!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
