your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you still have your period?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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