i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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