i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
