the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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