I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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