Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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