U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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