If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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