I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
