Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
