btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
