If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
