I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
