She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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