Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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