Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
