you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I love you.
Bad choice
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
