dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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