Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
